The Return of Bronconius
by Violettalette
Summary: Bronconius is not happy after having lost the rare Chariot doll to the Belchers, so he comes up with a plan to kidnap Tina in exchange for the doll...can Bob and the others save her in time?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Bob's Burgers**

**Hey guys, so this is a tiny little plot bunny, that has been in my brain since I saw the episode Equestranauts and...yeah, now I apologize in advance if I don't get some of the show's wit in this...I really hope I do it justice, ok so...yeah enjoy XD**

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Bronconius sat on his couch slumped back and holding a bottle of whiskey in hand, his eyes looked on at the Equestranauts frolicking on the screen. After all these years he'd failed to acquire the rare Chariot doll with its camel toe defect, and after years of searching, of swindling poor, unsuspecting fools out of their rare Equestranaut figurines. He had searched high and low for what would've been the shining jewel in his crown, all he had to do was trick some silly little girl and the rare beauty was his. Oh he'd had sweet Chariot for little more than a day, before Bob and his family came along.

He clasped the wine glass tighter, and took a sip.

The thought of Bob and his family made his skin crawl, honestly for a second there he thought he'd found a kindred spirit. Someone to share his fabled immortality with, and then he had to go and stab him in the back...and why? So his little four eyed freak, of a child with no appreciation for the show, nor the doll she possessed, could have his precious Chariot? H sneered as a commercial for Bob's Burgers came on the television. Low and behold there she was, Tina was on the screen trying to read off of a cue card while two other brats were shouting things and Bob was trying to calm them down

Immediately he thought of a plan...why not swap? After all that's what he'd done with Tina, so why not do it with the girl herself...swap her for Chariot? Yes..it was brilliant.

He got up, and went to go pack his bags, deciding to head back to that silly little town, where he'd find the bespectacled brat.

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_3 Days Later_

"Ugh weekend homework? What kind of no good idiot gives homework on the weekend! I mean seriously, I'd rather be cleaning the gunk from the pans than do this!." Exclaimed Louise, as the three Belcher siblings made their way down the street. Tina stopped when she spotted Jimmy Jr. doing some of his dance moves. She stopped and gazed at his butt, imagining all sorts of different scenarios between the two of them. Not even paying attention to the fact that her siblings were walking ahead of her.

" Ugh...you think we can use the excuse of we were at the restaurant working to get out of it Tina?...Tina?!" Louise stopped and looked back, to see Gene poking their older sister who was caught in a trance.

" Hey Louise look, its like she doesn't even notice!" Exclaimed Gene excitedy as he kept on poking Tina, before picking up a stick and poking her repeatedly. Louise groaned and rolled her eyes, wondering why on earth she was stuck with an idiot brother and a hormonally addled sister. She went over, and jabbed her fingers into Tina's side making her sister give a small surprised cry.

" Wake up Tina!" She exclaimed.

" But I am awake...hey where's Jimmy Jr?" Asked Tina, looking around upon realizing the strawberry blond was no longer there.

" Oh he left, he was probably creeped out by you standing there with your mouth open...then again who wouldn't?" Asked Gene, Tina gave a small groan as she followed her siblings wondering when she was ever going to catch a break with Jimmy Jr. Finally, they arrived home...not noticing the red car just around the corner.

" Hi kids, how was school?" Asked Linda, as the kids walked in through the door.

"We cut open a frog at school and I saw all of its insides!" Exclaimed Gene as he stood near someone who was about to take a bite out of his burger. " You should've seen it, all the guts, and-" He was cut off by the man setting his burger down and running out the door. "Well that was just rude."

" No Gene uh it..just go upstairs." Said Bob, rubbing his temples.

"Well fine, but its not my fault that some people cant handle a simple retelling of a school day." Said Gene as he headwed upstairs followed by Louise who was stil muttering under her breath.

" Oh Tina honey, can you go take the garbage out?" Asked Linda, Tina set her backpack down and went back to take the garbage out. She headed down the alleyway that lead to the dumster behind her house/the restaurant when a red car pulled up to the side.

" Hello Tina." Said Bronconius, when Tina tilted her head to the side.

" Uh, who are you?" She asked, looking at him in confusion, earning her an indignant look from Bronconius.

" I am Bronconius! you remember the one who you stole my Chariot from!" He exclaimed, Tina paused for a second and tried to imagine the man before her in the magenta and black pony costume.

" I don't know I can't see it, and its my Chariot...not yours." Said Tina, making Bronconius scoff, offendedly whilst Tina slowly backed away feeling very uncomfortable.

" Well it is I Bronconius, and you're coming with me." Said Bronconius, exiting the car, immediately Tina dropped the garbage and went to run, when the older man ran after her and picked her up by her waist. She squirmed and called for help, as he took her back to his car and tossed her into the backseat before driving off.


End file.
